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"You dirty bitch" My Harry says to me with a smirk. I laugh every time, it is our thing.
"Being your wife means I am always ready to be embarrassed." I'd say in front of others, and it is true. He laughs with a funny glint in his eyes, and he throws a kiss in the air for good measure.
"I can't believe I married you sometimes, just look at us." I said, and he'll say, "Ha ha, you are screwed. I am Jewish and you are Chinese, which one of us do you think made a bad deal?" People around us chuckle, and they call us an odd couple.
When we are by ourselves, he calls me "Lov-ee", and I call him "Doctor Evil".
I don't know how it happened to be, in my twenties, I thought the language of love should sound more like...love.
Sometimes I tickle him bad, he blocks me off. I tried and tried, and then I'd say, exasperated, "Can't you just stay still so I can tickle you already?"
I am the only one who is allowed to pet his bald head, people around thinks I am being rude, they told me I am making him more insecure about his shinny head. "Rubbish" I said, and I make a point of stroking his head right then.
"I look beautiful don't I?" He says smiling, mighty proud too.
Recently, a few years into our marriage, things got a little morose.
"Move over to your side." I push him to his side of the bed at night, he responds, "You stay on your side."
You see, our cats sometimes squeeze us in, they each take one side of the bed, and the two of us are trapped in the middle all through the night.
"Someday I will tell your skeleton to move to your side of the coffin." He'll say.
"If I die first I will haunt you." I told him, then I added, "You are not allowed to die first."
"Oh, and if you ever cheat and leave me for a younger woman, you'll loose your balls." I say this quite a bit, it is set in stone and he knows it well.
"Yes, if I ever want to cheat, I will just cut them off myself." He answers.
"No, don't you dare do it yourself, the pleasure is all mine." I'd say. But I guess I went overboard with this threat, sometimes use the nuke on lesser crimes than cheating, which prompted him to ask me,
"Is there any scenario where I get to keep Humpty Dumpty?" I'll admit this is a fair question.
I am not sure why we are like this, but I have a feeling this is a good marriage make.