Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A bizarre dream

Picture taken from site

I dreamt I was inside a large room of a very grand estate. The room was old and plush like one from the turn of the century, full of dark colors and antique furnishings. The sunlight was beaming through a large window, and the shadow of the window panes casted on the wooden floors. The house may have been English, or perhaps French; I am no expert to tell. I walked across the room and my footsteps echoed; it was a pleasant sound, brisk and commanding.

But as I walked I was aware of many restrictions on my movements. When I looked down I saw the spread of a heavy skirt. I felt the tightness on my waist held together by a clever corset, which also anchored the weight of the skirt. I wore an enormous hat, and the bottom of its broad brim shielded part of my vision. I did not know what the hat looked like, but I was sure it was an ornate one; perhaps covered in flamboyant plumes and elaborate fabric trims. The hat was held tight on my head cocked to one side, which was perfectly balanced by the coiffure of my hair.

I moved towards the window and I looked out. I saw a party of men and women sitting outside in a garden. There were rose bushes and willowy trees behind, and the people were dressed to the same style as me. They were beautiful like an impressionist painting. I stood there watching them laughing and chatting easily together; while my gloved finger stroked the face of a brooch high on my neck, the weight of it suspended at my collar. I felt its contours and decided it must be lovely too, though I did not make out what it was. A lady saw me and she called out for me to join them. The next thing I was transported outside.

"Come, come my dear sister. Do join us." She waved her arm wide to one side. The men stood up and smoothen their tailored jackets.

She called me her sister, but I did not recognized her. She was small and delicate. I was faintly aware that I was no longer myself, but there was no mirrors about to let me see my face. Yet I assumed this role easily enough and I waved back at them. There was a man opposite to the lady; he was the first to stand, but he did so very slowly. He was tall and handsome, and he smiled at me.

"Will you not join us?" The lady asked again, framing the choice as an ambiguous one. I saw the table in front of them was laden with food and drink served in exquisite China and the party was waiting for my answer. The beautiful man looked at me knowingly and inexplicably that settled the matter in my head.

"No, I believe I will go for a walk." I said.

"An excellent idea." The man said, suggesting he planned to join me. I took one good look at him, and I thought his handsomeness was only surpassed by his gentlemanly manners.

"Yes, a walk is a fine idea." My make-believe sister wished to join us as well.

The next scene the three of us were strolling on a narrow lane, flowers and trees all around us.  I did not know our direction but I determinedly pressed on. I didn't say very much, but I guided the other two. The lady mindlessly followed while talking nonstop, the gentleman kept very close behind me.

"What a beautiful day, it is so wonderful to be out." The lady said.

"It is always very fine this time of year." The gentleman answered.

"Do you think there are many birds around? It sounds like there are many." The lady continued.

"It certainly does." The gentleman replied.

Their silly conversation continued like this, his politeness never failed him. But I felt his interest was entirely feigned, which made me like him even more. So we walked on, and the lane began to widen. At first there were still trees about, then suddenly we were in an open field. The sky was clear and bright, but the sudden vastness was slightly disconcerting.

The next scene we were approaching some kind of farm. There was a decrepit split and rail fence and a sorry looking farm house in the field. We stopped to survey our surroundings. The lady again spoke.

"What a charming farm." She said.

"Beautiful country indeed." The gentleman replied.

"What are you talking about? This is covered in shit." I said, pointing out the obvious. The lady pursed her lips.

"You are correct, so it is." The gentleman said.

The muddy shit was thick and we were foot deep in it. I passed through the fence and I headed to the direction of the farm house. The gentleman again followed me close behind. The lady however stayed behind.

"We should have dinner." She said. That was the last time I saw her.

There were farm animals scattered about in the field, chickens, pigs, cows. Each one of the them was missing one limp, and they were covered and lying in shit. The animals were in such terrible shape I couldn't tell if the chickens were roosters or a hens, their feathers had completely fallen. I tried to reach out to them, but they tobogganed away on their stomaches, their remaining limps desperately propelling them in the thick shit. They were moving slow, but I moved slower in my binding dress, and eventually they were gone from my view.

The next scene I was inside the farm house observing the total chaos inside. The floor indoors was covered in shit as well. I looked down and my skirt was stained, and my footsteps were sticky to the floor. It was a more modern house, the kitchen was in front, and there were filthy furniture about, some fallen broken chairs here and there. The farmer and his woman were in the room, but they were not surprised to see me. At first I wanted to ask them about the animals, to see about improving their situation. But then I looked at the two people in front of me and I saw that they too were covered in shit, I didn't think they were in control anymore than the animals.

"Your neck is covered in shit sir." I said.

"No'm, I ain't." He said. His mouth opened wide and many of his teeth were missing.

"You and your lady, you two are covered in shit." I said, again pointing out the obvious.

They didn't answer. The farmer stared at my neck. His woman too, they were both looking intently at the direction of my brooch, my hand instinctively went there, again stroking the face of it.

"You have a lovely place." The gentleman said to the farmer. I had forgotten all about him.

"Would you like some food?" The farmer's woman asked.

"No." I answered bluntly.

"Perhaps another time." The gentleman politely answered, his manners remains impeccable in all this horror. I was shocked at him.

At this point it was near the end and I became very angry. I wanted to make a scene and protest against the state of this place. I tried to bend down and pick up some shit. I would like to throw it at the gentleman. But I was stuck, the dream would not allow me to do such a thing.


This was my dream from last night. If there are any Freudian disciples out there who would like to analyze it for me, I would love to know the meaning. Feel free to comment and tell me I am nuts. :)

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